I’ve been trying to write this blog post in my head for months. And to this very moment, I still don’t know what I want to say. I’ve typed sentences and fragments and erased them all because nothing could summarize this year long journey for me (which is why I included every picture that the blog ever saw). Completely honest, it’s been the best year of my life and also the worst. When I started this, I didn’t care who read it, and quite frankly, I still don’t, because this is an online journal; a live documentary of the most evolving year I’ve had thus far.
This year long journey has brought:
Meeting some of my best friends & letting people walk out of my life
Traveling to 2 countries & 7 states
Consuming over 365 cups of coffee
Taking over 6,000 pictures
A new relationship
Seeing George Ezra two days in a row
Battling anxiety & OCD
Stumbling through the end of eras and the beginning of new ones (I’ve never been very good at letting go of seasons)
A month of sickness
A brand new church
A new job
Saying goodbye to someone too soon
Innumerable photo shoots
Dozens of days that got lost in the mix
Living in Raw was insignificant compared to the 366.25 earth rotations, 13 moon cycles, and 4 seasons we all endured through the past year. This space was a catch-all for my best moments I wanted to remember every second of, and the worst moments that I’ll unfortunately remember every second of.
I think all I want to really say is that this blog has forced me to finish something from start to end, and come to terms with a lot of things. I’ve only fallen more in love with photography and come to terms with the (somehow) peaceful idea that life isn’t perfect. I’ve learned to let my guard down and admit that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes, and on the contrary, I’ve learned that you have to embrace the simple joys to truly enjoy life. By putting some of my deepest thoughts into words that anyone can read, it’s granted me confidence.
This year has stretched my faith in so many ways. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you have to focus quietly on your relationship with the Lord before you can properly begin your mission. I’ve learned that there’s so much benefit in watching how other people serve & love. And there’s nothing wrong with reinventing yourself daily if you have to.
I’ve always been stuck in a constant state of nostalgia, and from that has produced some of happiest days and some of my very saddest. Through it all, I’m learning what it’s like to be human, to stumble through this unpredictable life like everyone else. I’ve found myself on mountaintops, riding personal highs, and then the darkest places I’ve ever been.
May 5th-May 5th. It’s held the best of times and the very worst of times.
Here’s to Living in Raw- where I’ve figured a small part of the world, one photograph at a time.