I never thought that I would post a selfie on this blog, because that’s surely not what I made this for. But I also told myself I would become more genuine and talk about the things that mattered to me. When you have a night that you know is one for the books with almost all of your closest friends, you gotta blog it. I love these people tremendously. Each and every one of them are special to me in a different way and sometimes I think we skip over the value of recognizing your love for someone important to you. Tonight was the last night that we’ll all be together for a really long time. I caught myself sitting and realizing how much I would miss this perfect moment as I was living it. As much as that breaks my heart, I couldn’t be more proud of the friends I have and the incredible humans they are. I love you all.
Today I decided I needed a break from Snapchat. I realized that I’ve become artificial in some of my habits. I always talk about how genuine I want to be with people, but then I look at my Snapchat and the fact that I have Snap streaks with people that I never have legitimate conversations with. So I’m eliminating that element. If I want to start being real with people and true to myself, I have to get rid of the artificial things in my life.
When you find yourself realizing you’re going to be somewhere for a while, you start to notice things you overlooked the first time because you thought it was temporary. You notice the way the wall slightly slopes, the cracks in the brick, and the tiny hook in the wall. You notice the character and personality of the place because hey, you might as well get used to it.
I think sometimes I hold onto nostalgia too tightly. I get lost in times of blissful memories when fireflies lit the whole Earth, and the smell of campfire lingers on your clothing. I often wish I could go back to those summers and just be present. Not reliving, just observing, taking in everything I missed the first time. But then someday long from now, I’ll be lost deep in thought. Trying to recall all the details and wishing for the very moments I’m currently living.